Understanding other people's pain
はい!みなさん、こんにちは。
hai! minasan, konnichiwa.
Hi! Hello everyone.
Transcript
はい!みなさん、こんにちは。
hai! minasan, konnichiwa.
Hi! Hello everyone.
お元気でしょうか?
ogenki deshou ka?
How are you doing?
はぁい( ^ω^ )
haai ( ^ω^)
Hii!
このチャンネルは、日本語学習者の中級者・上級者向けです。
kono channeru wa, nihon go gakushuusha no chuukyuusha joukyuushamuke desu.
This channel is for intermediate and advanced Japanese learners.
自然な話し方、
shizen na hanashikata,
In a natural speaking style,
自然な日本語で話します。
shizen na nihon go de hanashimasu.
I speak in natural Japanese.
そしてトランスクリプトを無料で公開しておりますので、
soshite toran sukuriputo o muryou de koukai shite orimasu no de,
And I publish the transcripts for free,
Haru no Nihongoのウェブサイトからご覧ください。
Haru no Nihongo no webusaito kara goran kudasai.
so please check them out on the Haru no Nihongo website.
えー、あとですね、
ee, ato desu ne,
Um, also,
YouTubeメンバーシップをやっておりまして、メンバーシップに入ると、
YouTube menbaashippu o yatte orimashite, menbaashippu ni hairu to,
I run a YouTube membership, and if you join,
このエピソードで出てきた、難しい言葉を勉強できたり、
kono episoodo de dete kita, muzukashii kotoba o benkyou deki tari,
you can study the difficult words that came up in this episode,
日本の最新ニュースについてわかりやすく説明しているYouTubeライブが見れたりとか、
nihon no saishin nyuusu ni tsuite wakariyasuku setsumei shite iru YouTube raibu ga mire tari to ka,
watch YouTube lives where I explain the latest news in Japan in an easy way,
メンバー限定コンテンツ、いろいろありますので、
menbaa gentei kontentsu, iroiro arimasu no de,
there is lots of members-only content,
ぜひチェックしてみてください。
zehi chekku shite mite kudasai.
so please check it out.
はい。そして、あの、Haru no Nihongoのウェブサイトで、
hai. soshite, ano, Haru no Nihongo no webusaito de,
Yes. And, uh, on the Haru no Nihongo website,
リアル日本語会話教材を発売中です。
riaru nihon go kaiwa kyouzai o hatsubaichuu desu.
my real Japanese conversation materials are on sale.
今は「仲良し後輩との休日編」という結構カジュアルな日常的な会話の教材と、
ima wa " nakayoshi kouhai to no kyuujitsu hen " to iu kekkou kajuaru na nichijouteki na kaiwa no kyouzai to,
Right now there is the Holiday with a Close Junior edition, which is pretty casual everyday conversation,
あともう1つは「北海道出張編」というゴリゴリビジネスみたいな、
ato mou 1 tsu wa " hokkaidou shutchou hen " to iu gorigoribijinesu mitai na,
and one more, the Hokkaido Business Trip edition, which is like hardcore business,
ビジネス日本語、仕事の日本語、敬語という感じの2つの教材が発売中ですので、チェックしてみてね。
bijinesu nihon go, shigoto no nihon go, keigo to iu kanji no 2 tsu no kyouzai ga hatsubaichuu desu no de, chekku shite mite ne.
so two materials on business Japanese, work Japanese, and polite language are on sale, so check them out.
ということで、
to iu koto de,
So,
今日は何について話すかというと、
kyou wa nan ni tsuite hanasu ka to iu to,
what I am going to talk about today is,
まあフレネミーっていうことでございます。
maa furenemii tte iu koto de gozaimasu.
well, it is about frenemies.
みんな、フレネミー?
minna, furenemii?
Everyone, frenemies?
どういう質問って感じなんですね。
dou iu shitsumon tte kanji na n desu ne.
That is kind of a weird question, right.
失礼しました。
shitsurei shimashita.
Sorry about that.
フレネミーって何やねんっていう話なんですけれども。
furenemii tte nan'ya nen tte iu hanashi na n desu keredo mo.
You are probably wondering what a frenemy even is.
ググりました。
gugurimashita.
I googled it.
最近この言葉流行ってんだね。
saikin kono kotoba hayatte n da ne.
This word has been trending lately.
フレネミーとは、「フレンド」と、敵の意味の「エネミー」を合わせた言葉で、
furenemii to wa, " furendo " to, teki no imi no " enemii " o awaseta kotoba de,
A frenemy is a word combining friend and enemy, meaning enemy,
表向きは親しくしながら、裏で悪意や嫉妬を持つ人のことです。
omotemuki wa shitashiku shi nagara, ura de akui ya shitto o motsu hito no koto desu.
it is someone who acts close on the surface, but holds malice or jealousy behind your back.
はぁ。なんでこのね、トピックを今日話そうかなと思ったかというと、
haa. nan de kono ne, topikku o kyou hanasou ka na to omotta ka to iu to,
Huh. Why I thought I would talk about this topic today is,
なんか最近やたらと聞くんだよね。フレネミーについて。
nan ka saikin yatara to kiku n da yo ne. furenemii ni tsuite.
I just keep hearing about it lately. About frenemies.
なんか流行ってるらしい、フレネミー。
nan ka hayatterurashii, furenemii.
Apparently frenemies are trending.
はい。フレネミーですね。
hai. furenemii desu ne.
Yes. Frenemies.
結構ね、男性よりも女性の方が、このフレネミーの話をしていることが多い気がしていて、
kekkou ne, dansei yori mo josei no hou ga, kono furenemii no hanashi o shite iru koto ga ooi ki ga shite ite,
I feel like women talk about this frenemy thing more than men do,
最近私もちょっと友情関係とかで色々ありましたので、
saikin watashi mo chotto yuujou kankei to ka de iroiro arimashita no de,
and I have had some stuff come up with friendships lately too,
みんなとお話ししようと思うんだけど、
minna to ohanashi shiyou to omou n da kedo,
so I thought I would talk about it with you all, but
みんなはどうかな? フレネミー、知ってる?
minna wa dou ka na? furenemii, shitteru?
how about you all? Do you know about frenemies?
みんなの国では、フレネミーという言葉、流行っているのかな?
minna no kuni de wa, furenemii to iu kotoba, hayatte iru no ka na?
In your countries, is the word frenemy trending?
なんかこれが流行ってる理由は、やっぱSNSっていうのもあるらしくて、
nan ka kore ga hayatteru riyuu wa, yappa SNS tte iu no mo arurashikute,
Apparently one reason this is trending is social media,
SNSによって、なんかそういう、フレンドなんだけど、エネミー、友達なんだけど、敵のような行動や言動、
SNS ni yotte, nan ka sou iu, furendo na n da kedo, enemii, tomodachi na n da kedo, teki no you na koudou ya gendou,
With social media, you get these, like, friends who are enemies, people who are friends but act like enemies,
まぁ、言動だね。
maa, gendou da ne.
well, it's more what they say.
行動や言葉を言ってきたりする人が最近いるよね、みたいな話が(あります)。
koudou ya kotoba o itte ki tari suru hito ga saikin iru yo ne, mitai na hanashi ga ( arimasu).
There are more people lately who throw those actions and words at you, something like that.
SNSって、なんかいいことなくない?
SNS tte, nan ka ii koto naku nai?
Isn't there like nothing good about social media?
本当に思うんだけどさ。
hontou ni omou n da kedo sa.
I really think so, you know.
私はもう、Instagramの...なんかこのフレネミーというか、やっぱ見たくないものを見ちゃうじゃない。
watashi wa mou, Instagram no... nan ka kono furenemii to iu ka, yappa mitaku nai mono o michau ja nai.
For me, with Instagram... with this whole frenemy thing, you end up seeing stuff you don't want to see, right.
やっぱSNSって、Instagramと、私はXを……Xってもう何年も使ってないんだけど、
yappa SNS tte, Instagram to, watashi wa X o...... X tte mou nan nen mo tsukattenai n da kedo,
As for social media, Instagram and X, well, I haven't used X in years,
大学生時代とか使ってたんだけど、
daigakusei jidai to ka tsukatteta n da kedo,
I used it back in college and stuff,
あとFacebookとかね、やってましたけど、
ato Facebook to ka ne, yattemashita kedo,
and Facebook too, I used to do that,
全部アンインストールしておりまして、
zenbu an insutooru shite orimashite,
but I've uninstalled all of it,
アカウントがあるのか消してるのかも覚えてないぐらい見てないんですよ。
akaunto ga aru no ka keshiteru no ka mo oboetenai gurai mitenai n desu yo.
I barely look at it enough to even remember if I still have accounts or deleted them.
理由は、やっぱりなんか、必要以上にその相手のことを知ってしまうじゃん。
riyuu wa, yappari nanka, hitsuyou ijou ni sono aite no koto o shitte shimau jan.
The reason is, you end up learning way more about the other person than you need to.
好きだったはずの友達のことも嫌いになっちゃいそうなぐらい必要以上にその人の情報を吸収してしまうし、
suki datta hazu no tomodachi no koto mo kirai ni natchai sou na gurai hitsuyou ijou ni sono hito no jouhou o kyuushuu shite shimau shi,
You soak up so much info about them that you almost start to dislike friends you were supposed to like,
シンプルに時間の無駄だし、
shinpuru ni jikan no muda da shi,
and it's simply a waste of time,
私はあんまり他人に興味がないタイプの人間なんで、
watashi wa anmari tanin ni kyoumi ga nai taipu no ningen na n de,
and I'm just the type who isn't that interested in other people,
他の人が何をしてようが、
hoka no hito ga nan o shiteyou ga,
whatever other people are doing,
何があろうが、死ぬほどどうでもいいんですね。
nan ga arou ga, shinu hodo dou de mo ii n desu ne.
whatever's going on with them, I honestly couldn't care less.
実は冷たい人間なんです。
jitsu wa tsumetai ningen na n desu.
I'm actually a cold person.
結婚しようが、子供が生まれようが、仕事を変えようが、海外旅行に行こうが、留学に行こうが、
kekkon shiyou ga, kodomo ga umareyou ga, shigoto o kaeyou ga, kaigai ryokou ni ikou ga, ryuugaku ni ikou ga,
Whether they get married, have a kid, change jobs, go traveling abroad, go study abroad,
自由にどうぞ、その人の人生なんで。
jiyuu ni douzo, sono hito no jinsei na n de.
go right ahead, it's their life.
別に他人にシェアする必要をあまり私は感じないし、
betsu ni tanin ni shea suru hitsuyou o amari watashi wa kanjinai shi,
I also don't really feel the need to share that stuff with others,
みんなが元気でいれば、それでいいという感じです。
minna ga genki de ireba, sore de ii to iu kanji desu.
as long as everyone's doing well, that's enough for me.
はい。だから、なんか「へー」みたいな。
hai. da kara, nan ka " hee " mitai na.
Yeah. So I'm just like, huh.
それを見て、自分でなんか、もちろんその、なんか、なんていうの...。
sore o mite, jibun de nanka, mochiron sono, nan ka, nante iu no....
And when I see that stuff, I, well, of course, like, how do I put it...
「いいな」って、羨ましい気持ちとかもやっぱあるから、
" ii na " tte, urayamashii kimochi to ka mo yappa aru kara,
you do feel that must be nice kind of jealousy,
そういうのって無駄じゃん。本当に無駄だと思うのね。
sou iu no tte muda jan. hontou ni muda da to omou no ne.
and that stuff is such a waste. I really think it's a waste.
他人を羨ましがる気持ちって本当にマジで人生の無駄なものナンバーワンぐらいで無駄だと思うので、
tanin o urayamashigaru kimochi tte hontou ni maji de jinsei no muda na mono nanbaa wan gurai de muda da to omou no de,
Being jealous of other people is seriously like the number one waste of time in life,
もうインスタとか全部消してますね。
mou in suta to ka zenbu keshitemasu ne.
so I've just deleted Instagram and all of that.
友達の近況報告とか知りたくないの?とか言われるんだけど、
tomodachi no kinkyou houkoku to ka shiritaku nai no? to ka iwareru n da kedo,
People ask me, don't you want to know what your friends are up to,
超正直に言うと、
choushoujiki ni yuu to,
and to be super honest,
本当にどうでもいい。
hontou ni dou de mo ii.
I really don't care.
会って話せばいいじゃん。
atte hanaseba ii jan.
We can just meet up and talk.
会って話すのが楽しいじゃん。
atte hanasu no ga tanoshii jan.
Talking in person is the fun part.
会って、「最近どうよ」って話すのが楽しいの、私的にはね。
atte, " saikin dou yo " tte hanasu no ga tanoshii no, watashiteki ni wa ne.
For me, meeting up and going, how've you been lately, is what's fun.
「こういうことあってさ」「マジ? そうなんだ」 って言って話すのが楽しいじゃん、定期的に。
" kou iu koto atte sa " " maji? sou na n da " tte itte hanasu no ga tanoshii jan, teikiteki ni.
Going, this happened to me, and seriously, oh really, now and then, that's fun.
SNSとか見てると会う必要もないのよ。私的に。
SNS to ka miteru to au hitsuyou mo nai no yo. watashiteki ni.
If you're watching social media, there's no need to even meet. For me, at least.
もうだって、その人だって言っちゃってるからさ、SNSで、なんか「へー」で終わっちゃう。
mou da tte, sono hito da tte itchatteru kara sa, SNS de, nan ka " hee " de owatchau.
Because they've already said it all on social media, so it just ends with a huh.
私はちょっとなんか古い人間かもしれないし、冷たい人間かもしれないけど、
watashi wa chotto nanka furui ningen ka mo shirenai shi, tsumetai ningen ka mo shirenai kedo,
I might be a bit old fashioned, and I might be cold,
私はそこまで人間っていうか、他人に興味がないので。
watashi wa soko made ningen tte iu ka, tanin ni kyoumi ga nai no de.
but I'm just not that interested in people, in other people.
っていう。うん。
tte iu. un.
That's it. Yeah.
なので、SNSは全部やってません。
na no de, SNS wa zenbu yattemasen.
So I don't do any social media at all.
なので、今どういうものがSNSで、フレネミーとしてあるのかわからないけど、
na no de, ima dou iu mono ga SNS de, furenemii to shite aru no ka wakaranai kedo,
So I don't really know what kind of frenemy stuff is on social media right now, but,
まあなんか想像はできるよね。
maa nanka souzou wa dekiru yo ne.
well, I can kind of imagine it, you know.
SNS上のフレネミーだと、ちょっとマウント取る感じとか。
SNS jou no furenemii da to, chotto maunto toru kanji to ka.
With frenemies on social media, it's like trying to one-up you a little.
学生とかだと、多分遠回しに、これって自分のこと言ってんのかなみたいなさ。
gakusei to ka da to, tabun toomawashi ni, kore tte jibun no koto itten no ka na mitai na sa.
For students, it's probably more indirect, like, wait, is this about me?
そういうのはあるのかな。
sou iu no wa aru no ka na.
I guess there's stuff like that.
もう32になると、そんなことどうでもいいんだけどさ。
mou 32 ni naru to, sonna koto dou de mo ii n da kedo sa.
Once you're 32, you just don't care about that stuff anymore.
「これって私のことだよね」みたい。、
" kore tte watashi no koto da yo ne " mitai.,
Like, this is about me, right?
そういうのがあったりして、多分傷ついちゃったりするんだろうなって感じなんですけど。
sou iu no ga attari shite, tabun kizutsuichattari suru n darou na tte kanji na n desu kedo.
I feel like that kind of thing happens, and it probably hurts.
フレネミーって、でもいるよね。
furenemii tte, de mo iru yo ne.
But frenemies do exist, right.
SNSじゃなくてもさ、実際にいるよね。っていう話で。
SNS ja nakute mo sa, jissai ni iru yo ne. tte iu hanashi de.
Even without social media, they really exist. That's what I'm saying.
はい、あのー私実は最近本当に人と会うのをやめまして。
hai, anoo watashi jitsu wa saikin hontou ni hito to au no o yamemashite.
So, uh, I actually recently stopped seeing people.
心配されるのよ。私、結構。
shinpai sareru no yo. watashi, kekkou.
People worry about me quite a bit.
友達とかに「なんか大丈夫?」 「病気なんじゃない?」みたいな。
tomodachi to ka ni " nan ka daijoubu? " " byouki na n ja nai? " mitai na.
My friends are like, are you okay? Are you sick or something?
「精神的にやばいんじゃない?」とか。
" seishinteki ni yabai n ja nai? " to ka.
Or like, are you struggling mentally?
私、今でもすごい幸せなの。 人と会うことを制限して、すごい幸せなの。今。
watashi, ima de mo sugoi shiawase na no. hito to au koto o seigen shite, sugoi shiawase na no. ima.
But I'm really happy right now. Limiting who I see, I'm really happy now.
本当に。
hontou ni.
Really.
大前提として私は日本語教師であり、
daizentei to shite watashi wa nihon go kyoushi de ari,
To be clear, I'm a Japanese teacher,
レッスンしていてSunny Side Japaneseという学習コミュニティもやってるので、
ressun shite ite Sunny Side Japanese to iu gakushuu komyuniti mo yatteru no de,
I teach lessons and I run a learning community called Sunny Side Japanese, so
もう人と話しまくってるのよね。仕事でね。
mou hito to hanashi makutteru no yo ne. shigoto de ne.
I already talk to people nonstop for work.
で、私の生徒さんみんないい人たちだし、
de, watashi no seitosan minna ii hitotachi da shi,
And all my students are good people,
その、趣味のこととか、たまには個人的な悩み相談、愚痴もありますけど、
sono, shumi no koto to ka, tamani wa kojinteki na nayami soudan, guchi mo arimasu kedo,
we talk about hobbies, and sometimes personal worries or complaints,
基本的に生徒さんと話すのがすごく楽しいので満足なんですよ。
kihonteki ni seitosan to hanasu no ga sugoku tanoshii no de manzoku na n desu yo.
but basically I really enjoy talking with my students, so I'm satisfied.
だから改めて新しい人と出会おうとも全く思わないし、
da kara aratamete atarashii hito to deaou to mo mattaku omowanai shi,
So I don't feel like meeting new people at all,
他の人と会おうっていう気力がもうないというか、もうないんです。
hoka no hito to aou tte iu kiryoku ga mou nai to iu ka, mou nai n desu.
and I just don't have the energy to see other people anymore, I just don't.
なので私は、あんまり人と会うことをやめました。
na no de watashi wa, anmari hito to au koto o yamemashita.
So I stopped seeing people much.
もちろんね、仲いい友達は別ですよ。
mochiron ne, naka ii tomodachi wa betsu desu yo.
Of course, close friends are different.
でも、仲いい友達って言っても、
de mo, naka ii tomodachi tte itte mo,
But even when I say close friends,
本当に大学の友達と高校の友達と、
hontou ni daigaku no tomodachi to koukou no tomodachi to,
it's really just my college friends and my high school friends,
あと、シェアハウスで出会った友達、外国人の友達。
ato, shea hausu de deatta tomodachi, gaikokunin no tomodachi.
plus the friends I met in a share house, my foreign friends.
この3グループだけかも。 今、定期的に会うのは、この3つだけですね。
kono 3 guruupu dake ka mo. ima, teikiteki ni au no wa, kono 3 tsu dake desu ne.
That might be it. Those are the only three groups I see regularly now.
今日もこの後は大学の友達と会うんだけど、久しぶりに。
kyou mo kono ato wa daigaku no tomodachi to au n da kedo, hisashiburi ni.
Later today I'm meeting my college friends, it's been a while.
もう、それだけでいい。以上って感じですね。
mou, sore dake de ii. ijou tte kanji desu ne.
And that's enough for me. That's it.
理由は、あのー、やっぱね、30超えてきたりするとさ、
riyuu wa, anoo, yappa ne, 30 koete ki tari suru to sa,
The reason is, uh, once you get past 30,
あのー、会話がやっぱさ、繊細な部分になってくるんだよね。
anoo, kaiwa ga yappa sa, sensai na bubun ni natte kuru n da yo ne.
uh, conversations start getting into sensitive territory.
結婚してる人、してない人、子供いる人、いない人、彼氏・彼女いる人、いない人、
kekkon shiteru hito, shitenai hito, kodomo iru hito, inai hito, kareshi kanojo iru hito, inai hito,
People who are married, people who aren't, people with kids, people without, people with a boyfriend or girlfriend, people without,
仕事うまくいってる人、うまくいっていない人。
shigoto umaku itteru hito, umaku itte inai hito.
people whose work is going well, people whose work isn't.
なんか本当に差が出てきてて、この生活というものに。
nan ka hontou ni sa ga dete kitete, kono seikatsu to iu mono ni.
There's really starting to be a gap in our lives.
だから、なんかこう、まず1つ目に、会話が合わなくなってきてるっていう部分もあるのよね。
da kara, nan ka kou, mazu 1 tsume ni, kaiwa ga awanaku natte kiteru tte iu bubun mo aru no yo ne.
So first of all, part of it is that our conversations just don't match up anymore.
なんか話してても、全然面白くないなみたいな。
nan ka hanashitete mo, zenzen omoshiroku nai na mitai na.
Like even when we talk, it's just not fun at all.
なんでこんな話聞かなきゃいけないんだろうなとか思っちゃったり、
nan de konna hanashi kikanakya ikenai n darou na to ka omotchattari,
I catch myself thinking, why do I have to listen to this,
なんか、自分も別にシェアしたくないのに、
nan ka, jibun mo betsu ni shea shitaku nai no ni,
and like, I don't even want to share myself,
なんかシェアしなきゃいけないみたいな場面があったりして、プライベートの話とか。
nan ka shea shinakya ikenai mitai na bamen ga attari shite, puraibeeto no hanashi to ka.
but there are times when I feel like I have to share, like personal stuff.
あの、なんか、うん、なんかね、
ano, nan ka, un, nan ka ne,
Um, like, yeah, you know,
ちょっと合わなくなってくるみたいな部分とかあったりとか、
chotto awanaku natte kuru mitai na bubun to ka attari to ka,
there's that part where we kind of stop clicking,
あのー、ね、なんかもちろん誰かのことを聞いて、
anoo, ne, nan ka mochiron dare ka no koto o kiite,
and, you know, of course when I hear about someone,
「マウントを取る」って、最近すごく言うんだけど、
" maunto o toru " tte, saikin sugoku iu n da kedo,
people say "take the mount" a lot lately, but
マウントを取るっていうのは、
maunto o toru tte iu no wa,
"taking the mount" is,
なんか「私の方が上ですよ」みたいなことを言うことを「マウントを取る」って言うんだけど、
nan ka " watashi no hou ga ue desu yo " mitai na koto o iu koto o " maunto o toru " tte iu n da kedo,
saying stuff like "I'm above you," that's what we call "taking the mount," but
その、やっぱ無意識にマウントを取っちゃったりするんだよね。
sono, yappa muishiki ni maunto o totchattari suru n da yo ne.
you end up doing it without even realizing it.
この世代って多分ね。
kono sedai tte tabun ne.
At this age, probably.
もちろん、マウントを取られるのも嫌なんだけど、
mochiron, maunto o torareru no mo iya na n da kedo,
Of course, I hate having it done to me, but
自分がそういうふうにしちゃったら、どうしようっていう、恐怖感みたいなのもあって、
jibun ga sou iu fuu ni shichattara, dou shiyou tte iu, kyoufu kan mitai na no mo atte,
there's also this fear of what if I do that to someone,
そのつもりはないのに、
sono tsumori wa nai no ni,
even though I don't mean to,
相手の自信を下げちゃったりとか、
aite no jishin o sagechattari to ka,
like bringing down their confidence,
相手を不安に陥らせちゃったりとか、
aite o fuan ni ochiirasechattari to ka,
or making them anxious,
相手が自分と比べちゃうようなことがあったりしたら嫌だなとか思っちゃって、
aite ga jibun to kurabechau you na koto ga attari shitara iya da na to ka omotchatte,
or making them compare themselves to me, I'd hate that,
考えすぎなんだけど、多分。
kangaesugi na n da kedo, tabun.
I'm probably overthinking it, though.
考えすぎちゃうタイプの性格なんで、私は。
kangae sugichau taipu no seikaku na n de, watashi wa.
I just have that overthinking type of personality.
もう人と会うのやめましたって感じですね。
mou hito to au no yamemashita tte kanji desu ne.
So I basically just stopped seeing people.
「めんどくさ」っていうね。
" mendoku sa " tte iu ne.
Like, "too much hassle."
傷つくのも、傷つかれるのも嫌なので、
kizutsuku no mo, kizutsukareru no mo iya na no de,
I hate getting hurt and hurting people, so
私は本当に、少数の人間と会おうという(感じ)。
watashi wa hontou ni, shousuu no ningen to aou to iu ( kanji).
I'm just going to see a really small number of people.
あとシンプルにフレネミーと思われる方は切りました。
ato shinpuru ni furenemii to omowareru kata wa kirimashita.
And I simply cut off anyone who seemed like a frenemy.
本当に。
hontou ni.
Seriously.
該当する方で言うと、
gaitou suru hou de yuu to,
As for who that applies to,
このポッドキャスト聞いてないと思うんだけど、
kono poddo kyasuto kiitenai to omou n da kedo,
I don't think she's listening to this podcast, but
あのー、なんだろうね。
anoo, nan darou ne.
um, how do I put it.
私の足を引っ張ってくるみたいなタイプの人間がいて、
watashi no ashi o hippatte kuru mitai na taipu no ningen ga ite,
there was this person who was kind of dragging me down,
その子は年下だったんだけど、
sono ko wa toshishita datta n da kedo,
she was younger than me, and
あのーなんだろう。
anoo na n darou.
um, what was it.
私を巻き込んでくる感じ。
watashi o makikonde kuru kanji.
she kept pulling me into her stuff.
例えば、なんか、その人は、すごい……
tatoeba, nan ka, sono hito wa, sugoi......
For example, like, she was really...
私は後輩みたいな、友達であり、後輩みたいな感じで接してたから、
watashi wa kouhai mitai na, tomodachi de ari, kouhai mitai na kanji de sesshiteta kara,
I treated her like a junior, like a friend but also a junior,
結構もういろいろ甘く許してた部分があったんだけど、
kekkou mou iroiro amaku yurushiteta bubun ga atta n da kedo,
so I let a lot of things slide, but
あの、まず私へのリスペクトはゼロです。
ano, mazu watashi e no risupekuto wa zero desu.
well, first of all, she had zero respect for me.
っていう人だった。
tte iu hito datta.
That's the kind of person she was.
何でもやってもいいみたいな感じ。
nan de mo yatte mo ii mitai na kanji.
Like she could do whatever she wanted.
わがままだったの。すごく。
wagamama datta no. sugoku.
She was really selfish.
私はなんか年下だからなぁ。
watashi wa nan ka toshishita da kara naa.
And I was like, well, she's younger, so.
後輩ちゃんだしなみたいな感じで、ちょっと結構許してた部分あるんだけど、
kouhaichan da shi na mitai na kanji de, chotto kekkou yurushiteta bubun aru n da kedo,
She's my junior and all, so I let a lot of stuff slide, but,
なんかちょっと、私のことを尊重してなさすぎじゃんって思ってた部分があって。
nan ka chotto, watashi no koto o sonchou shite nasasugi jan tte omotteta bubun ga atte.
part of me felt like she just didn't respect me at all.
例えば、その人が働いていて、アルバイトしてたのね。
tatoeba, sono hito ga hataraite ite, arubaito shiteta no ne.
For example, she was working, she had a part-time job.
集合時間が2時とか3時だったのよ。
shuugou jikan ga 2 ji to ka 3 ji datta no yo.
We were meeting at like 2 or 3.
私はお昼ご飯食べていくわけじゃん。 「食べていくね」って言って。
watashi wa ohirugohan tabete iku wake jan. " tabete iku ne " tte itte.
So of course I eat lunch before I go. I told her, I'll eat before I come.
その人はアルバイトが終わった後の3時くらいに合流したんだけど、
sono hito wa arubaito ga owatta ato no 3 ji kurai ni gouryuu shita n da kedo,
She met up with me around 3 after her shift ended, but,
その子はお腹が減ってたらしいのね。
sono ko wa onaka ga hettetarashii no ne.
apparently she was hungry.
で、私はでもお腹いっぱいなわけよ。
de, watashi wa de mo onaka ippai na wake yo.
But I was already full.
で、だから私は「あ、そっか。じゃあ、2人で入れる、
de, da kara watashi wa "a, sokka. jaa, 2 nin de ireru,
So I said, oh, I see. Then somewhere we can both go into,
例えばファミリーレストラン、ファミレスとかカフェとかだったら、
tatoeba famirii resutoran, famiresu to ka kafe to ka dattara,
like a family restaurant or a cafe,
ご飯もあるし、私はドリンク頼むから、どう?」って言ったの。
gohan mo aru shi, watashi wa dorinku tanomu kara, dou? "tte itta no.
they have food and I can just get a drink, how about that?
そしたら「え、やだ。ラーメン食べたい」とか言って。
so shitara " e, ya da. raamen tabetai " to ka itte.
Then she goes, no, I don't want to. I want ramen.
は?じゃん。
ha? jan.
Like, huh?
え? ラーメン屋に入りたいって言い始めて。
e? raamen'ya ni hairitai tte ii hajimete.
Huh? She started saying she wanted to go into a ramen shop.
しかも、なんかすげー重いラーメン。
shikamo, nan ka sugee omoi raamen.
And like, super heavy ramen too.
でも、私お腹いっぱいだから。
de mo, watashi onaka ippai da kara.
But I'm full, so.
で、ラーメン屋入ったらやっぱ1人1品頼まなきゃいけないじゃん。
de, raamen'ya haittara yappa 1 nin 1 shina tanomanakya ikenai jan.
And if you go into a ramen shop, you have to order one dish each, right.
普通にマナーとしてそうじゃん。
futsuu ni manaa to shite sou jan.
That's just basic manners, right.
カウンターでさ、1人座ってるだけとか、最低じゃん。
kauntaa de sa, 1 nin suwatteru dake to ka, saitei jan.
Just sitting at the counter without eating is the worst.
飲み物だけ頼むなんてこともできないから、なんかゆっくりもできないじゃん。
nomimono dake tanomu nante koto mo dekinai kara, nan ka yukkuri mo dekinai jan.
You can't just order a drink, so you can't really hang out either.
「え、ラーメン今食べたいの?」
" e, raamen ima tabetai no? "
Huh, you want ramen right now?
「でも私、入れないよ。ラーメン屋さん」みたいな。
" de mo watashi, irenai yo. raamen'yasan " mitai na.
But I can't go in. It's a ramen shop, you know.
「注文しないし」って言ったら、「え、いいじゃん」みたいな感じで。
" chuumon shinai shi " tte ittara, " e, ii jan " mitai na kanji de.
When I said, I'm not ordering anything, she was like, oh, it's fine.
「ダメだろ」みたいな。
" dame daro " mitai na.
Like, no, it's not.
「待っててよ」とかって。(そういう)こととかも言われて、
" mattete yo " to ka tte. ( sou iu) koto to ka mo iwarete,
She even said stuff like, just wait for me, and,
「あなたがラーメン食べてる間、私は外で待ってろって言うの?」みたいな。
" anata ga raamen tabeteru aida, watashi wa soto de mattero tte iu no? " mitai na.
I'm like, you're telling me to wait outside while you eat ramen?
「帰りますけど」って。
" kaerimasu kedo " tte.
I'm just going home then.
そういう人がいて、結構それで私、「失礼」って思ったのね。
sou iu hito ga ite, kekkou sore de watashi, " shitsurei " tte omotta no ne.
There was this person, and I really thought, that's so rude.
失礼!って思ったの。
shitsurei! tte omotta no.
I thought, how rude!
とか、その子はなんか、で、そう、そのことに関して、
to ka, sono ko wa nan ka, de, sou, sono koto ni kanshite,
And that girl, well, about that,
私が「いや、それ無理だよ」みたいなことを言ったら、
watashi ga " iya, sore muri da yo " mitai na koto o ittara,
when I said, no, I can't do that,
なんか「えー、冷たい」みたいな、なんか私が悪者みたいに言ってくるの。
nan ka " ee, tsumetai " mitai na, nan ka watashi ga warumono mitai ni itte kuru no.
she goes, oh, you're so cold, like trying to make me the bad guy.
「えー、冷たー」とか言ってきて、「え、私が悪い?」みたいな。
" ee, hiyataa " to ka itte kite, " e, watashi ga warui? " mitai na.
She'd go, oh, you're so cold, and I'm like, wait, am I the bad one?
「え? ちょっと待って。第三者、誰かジャッジして」 みたいな感じで、
" e? chotto matte. daisansha, dare ka jajji shite " mitai na kanji de,
I'm like, huh? Hold on. Someone neutral, judge this, you know.
そうなんかね、私をね、悪者にすることがちょいちょいあって、その人は。
sou nanka ne, watashi o ne, warumono ni suru koto ga choichoi atte, sono hito wa.
Yeah, she had this habit of making me out to be the villain.
例えば、その人がアルバイトのスタッフの愚痴を言っていて、
tatoeba, sono hito ga arubaito no sutaffu no guchi o itte ite,
For example, she was complaining about a coworker from her part-time job,
でも私もともと同じアルバイトだったから、その人を知ってんのよ。
de mo watashi motomoto onaji arubaito datta kara, sono hito o shitten no yo.
but I used to work the same job, so I knew that person.
私はその人のこと、すごい好きだったから、嫌だったの、その人の悪口を言われるのは。
watashi wa sono hito no koto, sugoi suki datta kara, iya datta no, sono hito no waruguchi o iwareru no wa.
I really liked that person, so I hated hearing her badmouth them.
で、「でも、その人もいろいろあるんじゃないの」みたいな。
de, " de mo, sono hito mo iroiro aru n ja nai no " mitai na.
So I said something like, but maybe she's got a lot going on too.
ちょっと精神的にちょっと参ってたっぽくて、その人が。
chotto seishinteki ni chotto maittetappokute, sono hito ga.
It seemed like she was kind of struggling mentally.
で、その人が、その仕事にそれを影響させちゃってたっぽくて、
de, sono hito ga, sono shigoto ni sore o eikyou sasechatte tappokute,
And it seemed like that person was letting that affect their work,
友達は、そのフレネミーだった友達は、悪口を言っていたみたいな、私にね。
tomodachi wa, sono furenemii datta tomodachi wa, waruguchi o itte ita mitai na, watashi ni ne.
and my friend, that frenemy friend, was badmouthing them to me, you know.
でも、その人のことをよく知ってる。
de mo, sono hito no koto o yoku shitteru.
But I know that person well.
私は、本当の悪い人じゃないってことを知ってたから、
watashi wa, hontou no warui hito ja nai tte koto o shitteta kara,
I knew they're not really a bad person, so
「その人にも理由があるんじゃないの。?そういうのって」 「ちゃんと話してみたら?」って言ったの。
" sono hito ni mo riyuu ga aru n ja nai no.? sou iu no tte " " chanto hanashite mitara? " tte itta no.
I said, "Don't you think they have their reasons for that? Why don't you just talk to them properly?"
そしたら、なんか「えー、冷たい」みたいな。
so shitara, nan ka " ee, tsumetai " mitai na.
Then she was like, "Ugh, you're so cold."
「えー、冷たい。相談に乗ってくれないんだ」みたいな感じで、私が悪いみたいな。
" ee, tsumetai. soudan ni notte kurenai n da " mitai na kanji de, watashi ga warui mitai na.
Like, "Ugh, you're cold. You won't even listen to my problems," making it sound like I was the bad one.
そういうことね、数え切れないほどありまして、いろいろあって。
sou iu koto ne, kazoe kirenai hodo arimashite, iroiro atte.
There were countless things like that, all kinds of stuff.
その友達はね、切りました。
sono tomodachi wa ne, kirimashita.
I cut ties with that friend.
「さすがにもう無理です」と。
" sasuga ni mou muri desu " to.
Like, "I just can't do this anymore."
で、都合のいい時だけ私に、「お姉ちゃん」みたいな。
de, tsugou no ii toki dake watashi ni, " oanechan " mitai na.
And she'd only come to me when it was convenient for her, like, "big sis,"
「年上だね、お姉ちゃん、頼りになる。いつもありがとう」 みたいなこと言ってくんのね。
" toshiue da ne, oanechan, tayori ni naru. itsu mo arigatou " mitai na koto itte kun no ne.
saying stuff like, "You're older, big sis, you're so reliable. Thanks as always."
それはな...っていう感じでした。
sore wa na... tte iu kanji deshita.
And I was like, yeah, no...
あとはフレネミーかわからないけど、
ato wa furenemii ka wakaranai kedo,
Also, I'm not sure if this counts as a frenemy, but
最近もう、こういう人と会わない方がいいなと思うのは、
saikin mou, kou iu hito to awanai hou ga ii na to omou no wa,
lately I've been thinking I shouldn't see people like this,
やっぱ愚痴ばっかりの人、不満ばっかり言う人。
yappa guchi bakkari no hito, fuman bakkari iu hito.
people who just complain all the time, who only talk about what's wrong.
あと、いつも同じ話する人、自分の話しかしない人。
ato, itsu mo onaji hanashi suru hito, jibun no hanashi shika shinai hito.
And people who always tell the same story, people who only talk about themselves.
そういう人たちは、もう私は会うのやめようっていうふうにね、決めてますね。
sou iu hitotachi wa, mou watashi wa au no yameyou tte iu fuu ni ne, kimetemasu ne.
I've decided I'm just not going to see those kinds of people anymore.
やっぱこっちの時間もリスペクトしてもらわないと困るんで、本当に。
yappa kotchi no jikan mo risupekuto shite morawanai to komaru n de, hontou ni.
Because I really need them to respect my time too, honestly.
自分の話をしたいとか分かるし、聞くけど、
jibun no hanashi o shitai to ka wakaru shi, kiku kedo,
I get wanting to talk about yourself, and I'll listen, but
「前回も同じ話してましたよね」みたいな。
" zenkai mo onaji hanashitemashita yo ne " mitai na.
it's like, "You told the same story last time, right?"
話したいのは分かるんだけど、
hanashitai no wa wakaru n da kedo,
I get that you want to talk about it, but
「前回も前々回も同じ話して、あんまり変わっておりませんよね」みたいな。
" zenkai mo zenzenkai mo onaji hanashite, anmari kawatte orimasen yo ne " mitai na.
"You've told the same story last time and the time before, and nothing's really changed, right?"
「また悪口ですか?」みたいな人とか、
" mata waruguchi desu ka? " mitai na hito to ka,
Or people where it's like, "More badmouthing again?"
100%自分の話しかしないみたいな人ね。
100% jibun no hanashi shika shinai mitai na hito ne.
People who talk 100 percent only about themselves.
キャッチボールじゃない、みたいなね。
kyatchi booru ja nai, mitai na ne.
It's not a back and forth, you know.
プレゼンテーションかな、みたいなぐらい、自分の話しかしない人とか、
purezenteeshon ka na, mitai na gurai, jibun no hanashi shika shinai hito to ka,
People who only talk about themselves so much it's like a presentation,
もう私は会わなくていいかなと思いますね。
mou watashi wa awanakute ii ka na to omoimasu ne.
I think I don't need to see them anymore.
まあ、あとね、これフレネミーなのかわからん、みたいな人とかもいて、
maa, ato ne, kore furenemii na no ka wakaran, mitai na hito to ka mo ite,
Well, and there are also people where I'm like, I don't know if this is a frenemy,
あの、思ったことを全部言う人。
ano, omotta koto o zenbu iu hito.
uh, people who just say everything they think.
悪気がないんだろうなって思うんだけど、
warugi ga nai n darou na tte omou n da kedo,
I think they probably don't mean any harm, but
こちらはちょっと傷ついてるぞ、みたいな、言う人いない?
kochira wa chotto kizutsuiteru zo, mitai na, iu hito inai?
don't you know people who say stuff where you're like, hey, that kind of hurt?
思ったこと、全部言う人。
omotta koto, zenbu iu hito.
People who say everything they think.
例えばめっちゃ分かりやすく言うと、
tatoeba metcha wakariyasuku yuu to,
For example, to put it really simply,
髪の毛を切ったら、「え、前の方が良かったのに」とか言っちゃうみたいな人。
kaminoke o kittara, " e, mae no hou ga yokatta no ni " to ka itchau mitai na hito.
like if you cut your hair, they'd just go, "Huh, I liked it better before."
たまにいるのよ。
tamani iru no yo.
There are people like that sometimes.
デリカシーがないのか、みたいな。
derikashii ga nai no ka, mitai na.
Like, do they have no tact?
失礼じゃない? みたいな人いるじゃん。
shitsurei ja nai? mitai na hito iru jan.
You know, people where you're like, isn't that rude?
例え、ばなんか地味に嫌だなって思うのは、
tatoe, ba nanka jimi ni iya da na tte omou no wa,
For example, something I find quietly annoying is,
私結構こういうキャラだし、
watashi kekkou kou iu kyara da shi,
I'm pretty much this kind of character, so
ゲーム好き、アニメ好きで、「陰キャ」って言われるんだけど、
geemu suki, anime suki de, " kage kya " tte iwareru n da kedo,
I like games and anime, so I get called gloomy and introverted, but,
友達に「陰キャだ」とか言われるんですけれども。
tomodachi ni " kage kya da " to ka iwareru n desu keredo mo.
my friends tell me I'm gloomy and stuff.
いいんですけど、それは、陰キャなんで。
ii n desu kedo, sore wa, kage kya nan de.
That's fine, because I am gloomy.
はい。別にどうでもいいんですけれども。
hai. betsu ni dou de mo ii n desu keredo mo.
Yeah. I don't really care about that though.
決めつけてくる人。
kimetsukete kuru hito.
It's people who just assume things about you.
例えば、「はるかって運動できなさそう」とか。
tatoeba, " haruka tte undou deki nasa sou " to ka.
Like, "Haruka seems like she'd be bad at sports" and stuff.
なんか、「はるかって運動できなさそうだよね」とか。
nan ka, " haruka tte undou deki nasa sou da yo ne " to ka.
Like, "Haruka, you seem like you can't do sports, right?" or something.
「え、勝手に決めんなし」っていうね。
" e, katte ni kimen nashi " tte iu ne.
It's like, don't just decide that on your own.
例えば、私は家にいて、ずっとダラダラするのが好きなタイプだけど、
tatoeba, watashi wa ie ni ite, zutto daradara suru no ga suki na taipu da kedo,
For example, I'm the type who likes to stay home and just lounge around all day, but,
ちゃんと料理とかもするし、
chanto ryouri to ka mo suru shi,
I do properly cook and stuff,
ちゃんと割と運動もしてるし、
chanto warito undou mo shiteru shi,
and I actually exercise pretty regularly too,
ちゃんとしてる生活は一応してるんだけど、
chanto shiteru seikatsu wa ichiou shiteru n da kedo,
I do live a pretty proper life, but,
「Uber Eatsばっか頼んでそう」とか。
" Uber Eats bakka tanonde sou " to ka.
people say stuff like, "You probably just order Uber Eats all the time."
なんか、失礼か失礼じゃないの、このボーダーラインむずい、みたいな発言してくる人、いない?
nan ka, shitsurei ka shitsurei ja nai no, kono boodaarain mu zu i, mitai na hatsugen shite kuru hito, inai?
Aren't there people who say stuff right on that tricky borderline of rude or not rude?
Uber Eatsばっか頼んでるっていうことは悪口ではないんだけど、
Uber Eats bakka tanonderu tte iu koto wa waruguchi de wa nai n da kedo,
Saying someone orders Uber Eats all the time isn't exactly an insult, but,
なんか、この決めつけ、なんかこう、トゲを感じる、みたいな。
nan ka, kono kimetsuke, nan ka kou, toge o kanjiru, mitai na.
that assumption, it just feels kind of pointed, you know.
言葉に、なんかトゲを感じます、みたいな。
kotoba ni, nan ka toge o kanjimasu, mitai na.
Like you feel a little sting in their words.
そういう人いるよね
sou iu hito iru yo ne
There are people like that, right.
やっぱ「○○そう」って、その人のことを「○○そう」って思うのは、
yappa " ○ ○ sou " tte, sono hito no koto o " ○ ○ sou " tte omou no wa,
When you think someone seems like something,
プラスの言葉で言ったほうがいいなって思うよね。
purasu no kotoba de itta hou ga ii na tte omou yo ne.
I think you should say it with positive words.
例えば、なんか「え、運動できそう」 とかだったら嬉しいじゃん。
tatoeba, nan ka " e, undou deki sou " to ka dattara ureshii jan.
For example, if someone says, "Oh, you look athletic," that makes you happy, right.
「いや、でもできないよ~」。
" iya, de mo dekinai yo~ ".
"No, no, I actually can't."
みんなハッピーじゃん。結構。
minna happii jan. kekkou.
Then everyone's happy, pretty much.
「歌うまそうだよね」とかだと、「え、いや、私、実は歌下手で」とか言ってもさ、
" uta uma sou da yo ne " to ka da to, " e, iya, watashi, jitsu wa uta heta de " to ka itte mo sa,
If they say, "You seem like a good singer," even if you say, "Oh no, I'm actually bad at singing,"
なんかさ、ちょっとハッピーじゃん。別に。
nan ka sa, chotto happii jan. betsu ni.
it's still kind of happy, you know.
なんか「歌下手そう」とか言われたら、
nan ka " uta heta sou " to ka iwaretara,
But if someone says, "You seem like a bad singer,"
「別に、そんなこと人に言われる筋合いないし」 みたいな思っちゃう。
" betsu ni, sonna kotonin ni iwareru sujiai nai shi " mitai na omotchau.
you just think, "You have no right to say that to me."
ない?そういう人近くに。結構こういう人いるなっていうね。
nai? sou iu hito chikaku ni. kekkou kou iu hito iru na tte iu ne.
Don't you have people like that around you? I feel like there are quite a few.
ノンデリカシー人間。
non derikashii ningen.
Tactless people.
ノンデリ。
non deri.
No tact.
ノンデリはフレネミーではないんだけど、多分。
non deri wa furenemii de wa nai n da kedo, tabun.
Tactless people aren't frenemies, probably.
意図的にね、なんかわざとそういうことを言ってたらフレネミーなんだけど、
itoteki ni ne, nan ka wazato sou iu koto o ittetara furenemii na n da kedo,
If they're saying that stuff on purpose, intentionally, then they're a frenemy, but,
なんか思ったこと言っちゃう人。
nan ka omotta koto itchau hito.
some people just blurt out whatever they think.
あと最近ちょっとフレネミーとちょっとずれるんだけど、
ato saikin chotto furenemii to chotto zureru n da kedo,
Also, this is a bit off from frenemies, but lately,
なんか自分の中で、こういう人間でありたいっていうことを、
nan ka jibun no naka de, kou iu ningen de aritai tte iu koto o,
I've been thinking about the kind of person I want to be,
最近結構考えていて、
saikin kekkou kangaete ite,
I've been thinking about it a lot lately,
やっぱ、なんか相手に寄り添える。
yappa, nan ka aite ni yorisoeru.
I want to be someone who can be there for others.
これは日本語教師としてもそうなんだよね。
kore wa nihon go kyoushi to shite mo sou na n da yo ne.
That's true as a Japanese teacher too.
先生としてレッスンをする先生としてっていう部分もかなりあるんだけど、
sensei to shite ressun o suru sensei to shite tte iu bubun mo kanari aru n da kedo,
There's a big part of that in teaching lessons as a teacher, but,
やっぱ相手の痛みや苦しみに寄り添える人間でありたいなって、
yappa aite no itami ya kurushimi ni yorisoeru ningen de aritai na tte,
I want to be someone who can empathize with other people's pain and suffering,
最近常々思いますね。
saikin tsunezune omoimasu ne.
I've been thinking that all the time lately.
うん、なんか、うん。本当に思うね。
un, nan ka, un. hontou ni omou ne.
Yeah, like, yeah. I really mean it.
やっぱ相手の苦しみに共感できるような人間でいたいなと、
yappa aite no kurushimi ni kyoukan dekiru you na ningen de itai na to,
I want to be someone who can empathize with other people's suffering,
すごい思いますよね。
sugoi omoimasu yo ne.
I feel that so strongly.
このフレネミーの話とかを見てると、
kono furenemii no hanashi to ka o miteru to,
When I see these frenemy stories and stuff,
やっぱフレネミーをする人って相手がどう思ってるかっていうこと、あんまり考えてないわけじゃないですか。
yappa furenemii o suru hito tte aite ga dou omotteru ka tte iu koto, anmari kangaetenai wake ja nai desu ka.
people who act like frenemies don't really think about how the other person feels, right.
自分しか考えてないわけじゃん。
jibun shika kangaetenai wake jan.
They're only thinking about themselves.
そういう人間にはなりたくないなーと、最近すごい思いますね。
sou iu ningen ni wa naritaku nai naa to, saikin sugoi omoimasu ne.
I really don't want to become that kind of person, I've been thinking that a lot lately.
だから、できるだけレッスンとかでも、
da kara, dekiru dake ressun to ka de mo,
So as much as I can, even in lessons,
相手の悩みとか苦しみを、できるだけ、同じ立場にはなれないんだけれども、理解するというか、
aite no nayami to ka kurushimi o, dekiru dake, onaji tachiba ni wa narenai n da keredo mo, rikai suru to iu ka,
I can't be in the same position, but I try to understand their worries and suffering, or rather,
共感できるような人間でありたいなと、思っておりますけれども。
kyoukan dekiru you na ningen de aritai na to, omotte orimasu keredo mo.
I want to be someone who can empathize with them.
あとですね、
ato desu ne,
And also,
これは本当に、日本語の先生とか、常日頃、海外の人々と接する国の人とかね、
kore wa hontou ni, nihon go no sensei to ka, tsune higoro, kaigai no hitobito to sessuru kuni no hito to ka ne,
this is really for Japanese teachers, or people who deal with people from abroad every day,
私も彼氏、外国人なんで、
watashi mo kareshi, gaikokunin na n de,
my boyfriend is foreign, so,
海外の、自分とは違う文化を持つ、違う人種、違う文化を持つ人々と常に接している人たちは、要注意だなって。
kaigai no, jibun to wa chigau bunka o motsu, chigau jinshu, chigau bunka o motsu hitobito to tsune ni sesshite iru hitotachi wa, youchuui da na tte.
people who are constantly around people from other countries, with a different culture, a different race and culture from their own, need to watch out.
要注意って言い方すると、あれなんだけど、
youchuui tte iikata suru to, are na n da kedo,
Well, saying watch out sounds kind of off, but,
私が思っていることね。
watashi ga omotte iru koto ne.
this is just what I think.
みんながどう思っているか、人それぞれだから別に強要はしないんだけど、
minna ga dou omotte iru ka, hito sorezore da kara betsu ni kyouyou wa shinai n da kedo,
Everyone thinks differently so I'm not forcing this on anyone, but,
私が思ったことをシェアしたいと思うんだけど。
watashi ga omotta koto o shea shitai to omou n da kedo.
I want to share what I've been thinking.
癖でさ、これって、「日本人っぽいな」とか言っちゃうんだよね。
kuse de sa, kore tte, " nihonninppoi na " to ka itchau n da yo ne.
Out of habit, we say things like, that's so Japanese.
これって、例えば、私の彼氏、フランス人だから、「フランス人っぽい」とか。
kore tte, tatoeba, watashi no kareshi, furansunin da kara, " furansuninppoi " to ka.
Like for example, my boyfriend is French, so I'll say that's so French.
なんか、それ危険だなって思ってきちゃったの。
nan ka, sore kiken da na tte omotte kichatta no.
And I've started to think that's kind of dangerous.
言っちゃうよね。
itchau yo ne.
We all say it, right.
私と同じ人いると思うんだけど。「わぁ日本人っぽい」。
watashi to onaji hito iru to omou n da kedo. " waa nihonninppoi ".
I think there are people like me. Like, wow, that's so Japanese.
特に日本に住んでる皆さんとかって、やっぱ全然違う文化とかあると思うから、
tokuni nihon ni sunderu minasan to ka tte, yappa zenzen chigau bunka to ka aru to omou kara,
Especially for those of you living in Japan, you run into totally different cultures,
「うわー、すごい。自分たちと違うな。日本人っぽいな」 って思っちゃうこと、あると思うんだけど、
" uwaa, sugoi. jibuntachi to chigau na. nihonninppoi na " tte omotchau koto, aru to omou n da kedo,
so I think you end up thinking, wow, that's so different from us, that's so Japanese, but,
これっていきすぎると、
kore tte iki sugiru to,
if you take this too far,
本当にただのステレオタイプを貼り付けているだけになっちゃうって、
hontou ni tada no sutereotaipu o haritsukete iru dake ni natchau tte,
it just becomes slapping a stereotype on them,
自分の相手の文化を理解する可能性を狭めてるなって、最近ちょっと思っていて。
jibun no aite no bunka o rikai suru kanousei o sebameteru na tte, saikin chotto omotte ite.
and it narrows your chance to understand the other person's culture, I've been thinking lately.
なんか、例えばね、簡単なことだったらいいんだよ。
nan ka, tatoeba ne, kantan na koto dattara ii n da yo.
Like, for example, if it's something simple it's fine.
いいんだよ。
ii n da yo.
It's fine.
フランスパン...フランスパンっていうか、バゲットね。
furansu pan... furansu pan tte iu ka, bagetto ne.
French bread, well, in Japanese we say French bread, but baguettes.
日本語だと、フランスパンって言うんだけど、バゲットをすごいフランス人食べるじゃん。
nihon go da to, furansu pan tte iu n da kedo, bagetto o sugoi furansunin taberu jan.
In Japanese we say French bread, but French people eat a lot of baguettes, right.
なんか「フランス人っぽいね」って。
nan ka " furansuninppoi ne " tte.
So saying that's so French.
まあそれはなんか事実としてさ、誰も傷つかないし、別に可能性の幅をそこまで狭めないじゃん。
maa sore wa nan ka jijitsu to shite sa, dare mo kizutsukanai shi, betsu ni kanousei no haba o soko made sebamenai jan.
Well that's kind of a fact, it doesn't hurt anyone, and it doesn't really narrow things that much.
いや俺はフランス人だけど、
iya ore wa furansunin da kedo,
Well, some might say I'm French but,
バゲット食わねえっていう人いるかもしれないけど、
bagetto kuwanee tte iu hito iru ka mo shirenai kedo,
I don't eat baguettes,
別にそこまで怒らないじゃんね。
betsu ni soko made okoranai jan ne.
but no one gets that angry about it.
あの、「日本人はよく『すいません』って言うよね」みたいな、それも事実だしいいんだけど。
ano, " nihonnin wa yoku " suimasen " tte yuu yo ne " mitai na, sore mo jijitsu da shi ii n da kedo.
Uh, like Japanese people say sorry a lot, that's also true so it's fine, but.
もっと繊細な部分。
motto sensai na bubun.
It's the more sensitive stuff.
例えば私が最近ちょっと思ったことで言うと、
tatoeba watashi ga saikin chotto omotta koto de yuu to,
For example, something I've been thinking about lately is,
私は人と会いたくないんですね。
watashi wa hito to aitaku nai n desu ne.
I don't want to meet people.
そう言うとちょっとあれなんだけど、
sou yuu to chotto are na n da kedo,
I know that sounds a bit off when I put it like that, but,
新しい人と友達になる、みたいなことを、私は今もう本当に思ってなくて、
atarashii hito to tomodachi ni naru, mitai na koto o, watashi wa ima mou hontou ni omottenakute,
I really have zero desire right now to make friends with new people,
ありがたいことに生徒さんたちと毎日新しい人と出会うこともできてるので、
arigatai koto ni seitosantachi to mainichi atarashii hito to deau koto mo dekiteru no de,
and thankfully I get to meet new people every day through my students, so
改めてオフラインで新しい友達に会いたいとは思わない。
aratamete ofu rain de atarashii tomodachi ni aitai to wa omowanai.
I don't feel like going out of my way to meet new friends offline.
疲れちゃうのね。私すごく。
tsukarechau no ne. watashi sugoku.
I just get exhausted. Like, really exhausted.
本当に疲れちゃうので、
hontou ni tsukarechau no de,
It really wears me out, so
あまり会わないなって思ったんだけど、
amari awanai na tte omotta n da kedo,
I realized I don't really meet up with people,
そのことに関して、例えば「日本人だから。日本人は新しい人と会うのとか嫌がるから、日本人っぽいね」とか、
sono koto ni kanshite, tatoeba " nihonnin da kara. nihonnin wa atarashii hito to au no to ka iyagaru kara, nihonninppoi ne " to ka,
but about that, if someone said something like, because you're Japanese. Japanese people don't like meeting new people, so that's so Japanese of you,
なんか、その「日本人は心を開かないよね」みたいな、そういう決定づけちゃうのを、
nan ka, sono " nihonnin wa kokoro o hirakanai yo ne " mitai na, sou iu kettei zukechau no o,
you know, deciding it's just because Japanese people don't open up,
この私という1人の実験体...実験体?
kono watashi to iu 1 nin no jikken tai... jikken tai?
you can't judge that from just one test subject, me... test subject?
試験、何々、何々、何て言う?
shiken, naninani, naninani, nan te yuu?
Test, what was it, what do you call it?
なんか「実験番号1、はるか」みたいな、だけで判断しちゃいけないわけよ。
nan ka " jikken bangou 1, haruka " mitai na, dake de handan shicha ikenai wake yo.
Like, you can't decide based only on sample number one, Haruka.
私はこれは私の個性、私の性格であって、
watashi wa kore wa watashi no kosei, watashi no seikaku de atte,
For me, this is my personality, my character,
新しく会いたくないって考えるのは、別に日本人だからそう思ってるって部分もあるかもしれないけど、
atarashiku aitaku nai tte kangaeru no wa, betsu ni nihonnin da kara sou omotteru tte bubun mo aru ka mo shirenai kedo,
and thinking I don't want to meet new people might partly be because I'm Japanese, but
そうじゃなくて、私1人が思ってるわけであって、
sou ja nakute, watashi 1 nin ga omotteru wake de atte,
it's not that, it's just how I personally feel,
私の友達とか、喜んで新しい人と出会いに行く人はいっぱいいるわけよね。
watashi no tomodachi to ka, yorokonde atarashii hito to deai ni iku hito wa ippai iru wake yo ne.
and I have plenty of friends who happily go out to meet new people.
私は結構、内向的気質であって、
watashi wa kekkou, naikouteki kishitsu de atte,
I'm pretty introverted,
部屋から出たくないみたいなタイプだからこう思ってるだけであって、
heya kara detaku nai mitai na taipu da kara kou omotteru dake de atte,
I'm just the type who doesn't want to leave my room, so that's why I feel this way,
それを結構、やっぱ文化の違いかなって思っちゃったり、
sore o kekkou, yappa bunka no chigai ka na tte omotchattari,
and to chalk that up to cultural differences,
「日本人だから仲良くなれない」っていうふうに、
" nihonnin da kara nakayoku narenai " tte iu fuu ni,
like, we can't become close because she's Japanese,
このレッテルを貼ってしまうのは危険だよなっていう。
kono retteru o hatte shimau no wa kiken da yo na tte iu.
putting that kind of label on it is dangerous, you know.
他にも、「○○人だから、こういう行動するんだ」
hoka ni mo, " ○ ○ hito da kara, kou iu koudou suru n da "
Same with other stuff, like they act this way because they're from such and such country,
「○○人だから、こうなんだ」って、いっぱいあるじゃん。
" ○ ○ hito da kara, kou na n da " tte, ippai aru jan.
they're like that because they're that nationality, there's a lot of that, right.
あんまり例は言えないんだけど。
anmari rei wa ienai n da kedo.
I can't really give examples, but.
それは、いい部分もあるけど、やりすぎると、ただただその文化への理解とか、
sore wa, ii bubun mo aru kedo, yari sugiru to, tadatada sono bunka e no rikai to ka,
That can be helpful in some ways, but if you overdo it, it just narrows your understanding of that culture and
その人とか、個人個人への理解を狭めるだけだから、
sono hito to ka, kojin kojin e no rikai o sebameru dake da kara,
your understanding of each individual person, so
やめた方がいいっていうか、あんまりしないように私は最近気をつけてます。
yameta hou ga ii tte iu ka, anmari shinai you ni watashi wa saikin ki o tsuketemasu.
you should stop it, or rather, I've been trying not to do that lately.
「あの人は○○人だから、こうするんだ」 っていう判断方法は危険じゃないかなって、
" ano hito wa ○ ○ hito da kara, kou suru n da " tte iu handan houhou wa kiken ja nai ka na tte,
Judging someone like, they do this because they're from that country, isn't that kind of dangerous,
私個人は思うという話ですね。
watashi kojin wa omou to iu hanashi desu ne.
that's what I personally think.
だから、冗談とかね、あっても、あんまり言わないようにしてる。私は。
da kara, joudan to ka ne, atte mo, anmari iwanai you ni shiteru. watashi wa.
So even as a joke, I try not to say that kind of thing.
「○○人っぽいね」って言っちゃうんだけどね。
" ○ ○ hitoppoi ne " tte itchau n da kedo ne.
I do end up saying, that's so typical of that country, though.
言っちゃうんだけど、
itchau n da kedo,
I do say it, but
あんまり言わない方がいいし、
anmari iwanai hou ga ii shi,
it's better not to say it too much,
自分の中では「○○人っぽいね」って、ジョークで言ってるけど、
jibun no naka de wa " ○ ○ hitoppoi ne " tte, jooku de itteru kedo,
and even when I say that's so typical in my head as a joke,
ちゃんと、○○の人、例えば日本人、フランス人でも、いろんな人がいる。
chanto, ○ ○ no hito, tatoeba nihonnin, furansunin de mo, ironna hito ga iru.
I need to remember that people from anywhere, Japanese, French, whoever, there are all kinds of people.
1人1人、全然違うよねっていうことは、絶対に忘れちゃいけないなと思っておりますね。
1 nin 1 nin, zenzen chigau yo ne tte iu koto wa, zettai ni wasurecha ikenai na to omotte orimasu ne.
Everyone is completely different, and I think I must never forget that.
やっぱ最近このSNSとかが流行って、
yappa saikin kono SNS to ka ga hayatte,
With social media getting so popular lately,
世界中がつながる機会が増えて、よく見るじゃん。
sekaichuu ga tsunagaru kikai ga fuete, yoku miru jan.
we have more chances to connect all over the world, and you see it a lot, right.
「○○人はこう、○○人はこう」とかね。
" ○ ○ hito wa kou, ○ ○ hito wa kou " to ka ne.
Things like people from this place are like this, people from that place are like that.
うのみにしちゃいけない。
unomi ni shicha ikenai.
You should not just swallow all of that whole.
「うのみにする」っていうのは、そのままを全部吸収しちゃうってこと。
" unomi ni suru " tte iu no wa, sono mama o zenbu kyuushuu shichau tte koto.
"Unomi ni suru" means to just absorb everything exactly as it is.
正直に言うと、やっぱ差別、偏見につながると思っちゃうし、私的には。
shoujiki ni yuu to, yappa sabetsu, henken ni tsunagaru to omotchau shi, watashiteki ni wa.
To be honest, I cannot help feeling it leads to discrimination and prejudice, personally.
「○○人だから、嫌い」とか、「○○人はこういう傾向があるから嫌」とか、
" ○ ○ hito da kara, kirai " to ka, " ○ ○ hito wa kou iu keikou ga aru kara iya " to ka,
Like I hate them because they are from that country, or I do not like them because people from there tend to be like this,
そういう判断の仕方は極力あんまりやらない方がいいのではと思うってことですね。
sou iu handan no shikata wa kyokuryoku anmari yaranai hou ga ii no de wa to omou tte koto desu ne.
I think it is best to avoid that kind of judging as much as possible.
やっぱり1人1人で出会うこと。
yappari 1 nin 1 nin de deau koto.
After all, it is about meeting people one by one as individuals.
人種とか国のフレームで捉えずに見るといいかなと思いますね。
jinshu to ka kuni no fureemu de toraezu ni miru to ii ka na to omoimasu ne.
I think it is good to see them without framing them by race or country.
もっと理解が深まるんじゃないかなと。
motto rikai ga fukamaru n ja nai ka na to.
I think you will understand them more deeply that way.
間違ってないことも、もちろんあるんだけどね。
machigattenai koto mo, mochiron aru n da kedo ne.
Of course, some of it is not wrong, though.
日本人はこうだみたいな。
nihonnin wa kou da mitai na.
Like this idea of Japanese people are like this.
日本人の、確か70%とかぐらいは内向的な性格なので、
nihonnin no, tashika 70% to ka gurai wa naikouteki na seikaku na no de,
I think something like 70 percent of Japanese people have an introverted personality, so
他の国の人に比べると、
hoka no kuni no hito ni kuraberu to,
compared to people from other countries,
新しい人と出会うことに、抵抗を感じたりとか、
atarashii hito to deau koto ni, teikou o kanji tari to ka,
they might feel hesitant about meeting new people,
心を開くことに対して時間がかかったりとか、
kokoro o hiraku koto ni taishite jikan ga kakattari to ka,
or take time to open up to others,
警戒心が強かったりとか、
keikaishin ga tsuyokattari to ka,
or be pretty guarded,
それはもう国民性としてもうあるかもしれないけどね。
sore wa mou kokuminsei to shite mou aru ka mo shirenai kedo ne.
and that might just be part of the national character.
っていうことをお伝えしました。
tte iu koto o otsutae shimashita.
That is what I wanted to share with you.
皆さんはどう思いますでしょうか。
minasan wa dou omoimasu deshou ka.
What do you all think?
ということで、今日はフレネミーに... 最後全然違う話してたけどフレネミーについてでした。
to iu koto de, kyou wa furenemii ni... saigo zenzen chigau hanashiteta kedo furenemii ni tsuite deshita.
So, today was about frenemies... well, I ended up talking about something totally different at the end, but it was about frenemies.
はい、今日話した話、
hai, kyou hanashita hanashi,
Okay, for what I talked about today,
またトランスクリプトを作りますので、
mata toran sukuriputo o tsukurimasu no de,
I will make a transcript again, so
私のウェブサイトをチェックしてみてください。
watashi no webusaito o chekku shite mite kudasai.
please check out my website.
あと、Instagram、YouTube、
ato, Instagram, YouTube,
Also, Instagram, YouTube,
こちらのフォローもお願いいたします。
kochira no foroo mo onegai itashimasu.
please follow me there too.
そしてYouTubeメンバーシップに入っていただくと、
soshite YouTube menbaashippu ni haitte itadaku to,
And if you join the YouTube membership,
いろいろな学習コンテンツがあります。
iroiro na gakushuu kontentsu ga arimasu.
there is lots of different study content.
今回のエピソードで出てきた、
konkai no episoodo de dete kita,
That came up in this episode,
新しい言葉を勉強できたりしますので、
atarashii kotoba o benkyou deki tari shimasu no de,
you can study the new words and such, so
ぜひチェックしてみてください。
zehi chekku shite mite kudasai.
please definitely check it out.
そして、「Sunny Side JapanesePodcast」 というものがあります。
soshite, " Sunny Side JapanesePodcast " to iu mono ga arimasu.
And there is something called Sunny Side Japanese Podcast.
他の先生と対話式で話しているポッドキャストになりますので、
hoka no sensei to taiwa shiki de hanashite iru poddo kyasuto ni narimasu no de,
It is a podcast where I talk in a conversational style with other teachers, so
こちらもぜひチェックしてみてください。
kochira mo zehi chekku shite mite kudasai.
please check that out too.
そして、YUYU先生とやっている
soshite, YUYU sensei to yatte iru
And the one I am doing with YUYU Sensei,
「HARUとYUYUのゲームで日本語」 というチャンネルもありますので、
" HARU to YUYU no geemu de nihon go " to iu channeru mo arimasu no de,
there is also a channel called HARU and YUYU Learn Japanese Through Games, so
こちらもチェックしてみてね。
kochira mo chekku shite mite ne.
check that out too.
暑!暑いんだけど。
sho! atsui n da kedo.
Hot! It is so hot.
家でエアコンつけてるのに暑いってどういうこと?
ie de eakon tsuketeru no ni atsui tte dou iu koto?
I have the AC on at home, so why is it still hot?
まだまだ暑い時期続きますしね。
madamada atsui jiki tsuzukimasu shi ne.
It is going to stay hot for a while, you know.
熊本でね、大きい地震が起きて、
kumamoto de ne, ookii jishin ga okite,
In Kumamoto, there was a big earthquake,
被害もね、結構大きいのでね、熊本にいるみなさんはちょっと心配なんですけど、
higai mo ne, kekkou ookii no de ne, kumamoto ni iru minasan wa chotto shinpai na n desu kedo,
and the damage is pretty big too, so I'm a bit worried about everyone in Kumamoto, but
まだまだ暑い日が続きますので、熱中症気をつけてくださいね。
madamada atsui hi ga tsuzukimasu no de, netchuushou ki o tsukete kudasai ne.
hot days are still going to continue, so please be careful of heatstroke.
もうできるだけ水分とって、過ごしてください。
mou dekiru dake suibun totte, sugoshite kudasai.
Please drink as much water as you can.
っていうことで、みなさんまた次回!
tte iu koto de, minasan mata jikai!
So, see you all next time!
さよなら~!
sayonara~!
Bye!
Video and Japanese captions: Haru no Nihongo on YouTube. English: machine translation.
Words at N1
- 活けるto arrange (flowers)N1
- 傷付くto be hurt, to be wounded, to get injuredN1
- いくto go, to proceedN1
- 教材teaching materialsN1
- レッスンlessonN1
- 愚痴idle complaint, grumbleN1
- 封sealN1
- 遥かfar, far-away, distant, remote, far offN1
- チャンネルa channelN1
- 編compilation, editing, completed poem, book, part of bookN1
- 終わるto finish, to closeN1
- 悩みtrouble(s), worry, distress, anguish, agony, problemN1
- 悪者bad fellow, rascal, ruffian, scoundrelN1
- 共感sympathy, responseN1
- 公開presenting to the publicN1
- 限定limit, restrictionN1
- ビジネスbusinessN1
- 嫉妬jealousyN1
- 色々variousN1
- 員memberN1
- 前提premise, prerequisite, assumptionN1
- 捲るverb suffix to indicate reckless abandon to the activityN1
- 久しいlong, long-continued, old (story)N1
- 面白いinteresting, amusingN1
- 世代generation, the world, the ageN1
- 自信self-confidenceN1
- 少数minority, fewN1
- 該当corresponding, answering to, coming underN1
- キャッチcatchN1
- 良いgoodN1
- 例えexample, even if, if, though, althoughN1
- 発言utterance, speech, proposalN1
- 意図intention, aim, designN1
- ずれるto slide, to slip offN1
- 日頃normally, habitually, daily, usuallyN1
- 俺I (ego) (boastful first-person pronoun)N1
- 個性individuality, personality, idiosyncrasyN1
- 気質spirit, character, trait, temperament, dispositionN1
- 偏見prejudice, narrow viewN1
- 間違うto make a mistake, to be incorrect, to be mistakenN1
- 警戒vigilance, caution, alertN1
- 対話conversation, dialogueN1




